I've rediscovered why I ought to read.
Trust me, I've been a lifelong fan of reading; I've probably read more books than I've seen movies, and I could tell you more about fictional history than I could about real events. I love meeting new characters and immersing myself in someone else's journey.
Thanks to the job I started in January, however, I've had to re-prioritize the things I spent time on. And for the last several months, I've gone through far fewer books than I normally would. I'd felt a little guilty for spending so much time on things that weren't real. On people and places that weren't real.
But over the last few months, as I've still not had much time for fiction, I've noticed some things. I feel a little lackluster at times. I have less excitement about life. I have less desire to go out and do things. And I have less energy for, well, kinda everything.
There are a few things that I really appreciate about fiction--I said I'm a fan, but to be honest, I'm a bit of an addict. I'm one of those who'll stay up late finishing books. I may have stayed up till dawn, on a few occasions, in order to finish a book. Just maybe. One reason, then, that I appreciate fiction is that I get excited about reading. I get really excited about it. And that excitement carries over into the rest of my life; I have more energy for everything.
I learn so much about people, and about life, when I read. I guess the advantage of reading about a situation, rather than living it, is that I can reflect on it and think about it without having to participate and decide how to act. Being outside a situation, I process it emotionally, easier than I process my day-to-day experiences--and by processing these fictional situations I've often come to understand my own feelings better.
Characters in the stories I read often evoke my sympathy, or my empathy. They awaken the emotions I don't often employ when reviewing invoices, check copies, lease agreements, or reconciliation schedules. And when I don't have anything that really evokes my emotions, they lay dormant. So it seems that when I don't read as much, or when I don't have something that evokes my emotions or my charity, I just don't really feel anything.
So it turns out, I might just need reading, in order to balance out the impact of all my calculating, reviewing, summing, and balancing--rather, just the impact of all the work I do. If I don't have an outlet--or an inlet--for emotions, it seems I just cease to feel.
