How can you tell a Utahn from a Californian?

Now, I know there are many differences between people who live in Utah and people who live in California. For example, when Californians go to the beach, they head toward the Pacific; when people in Utah go to the beach, they head toward a lake. Any lake. Nevertheless, I recently became aware of another schism.

My friend Donna and I took a road trip to Los Angeles last weekend, and through the course of our trip we traversed several freeways. When I was getting directions from friends, the conversation would often proceed in the following manner:

Emily: "Ok, take the 134 West to the 2 North to the 101 North to the 405 South, and that should get you there."

Me: "Ok. The 134 to the 2 to the 101 to the 405. I think I got it."

Now, Donna grew up in Utah and so she's used to the idea of a freeway. Having to cross many freeways in a single trip was a little less common for her, but still not mind-blowing. However, for her, a conversation about multiple freeways would probably go such:

Donna: "Ok, take I-15 North to I-80 West, and you'll be there."

Angela: "Ok, I-15 North to I-80 West. I think I got it."

Did you notice the difference? After living in Utah for about 6 years, I never had, so don't feel bad if you didn't.

What I discovered with Donna was that Californians tend to use the definite article "the" in front of the names of our freeways. We don't waste time mentioning whether the freeway is an interstate or not; it doesn't really matter, usually, because you won't be on the freeway long enough to change states. You'll be on another freeway--perhaps another two or three--within the next hour.

Utahns, however, have perhaps as many freeways to claim as they have fingers on one hand; therefore, they don't feel the same pressing need to shorten the titles of the freeways; after all, they rarely travel on two different freeways in the same day. Therefore, they ceremoniously refer to their freeways as "I-15" or "I-80." Though they usually don't intend to traverse the freeway long enough to change states, they still must mention that the freeway is an interstate one, so you could visit another state on it, if you'd like to. I think it's very endearing.

As long as you ask a Utahn about directions to I-15 or I-80, you will get very positive results. But start asking about directions to "the 15" and you'll probably get a blank stare or a pause for just a second--long enough for the person you're speaking with to think "Oh, the poor dear...obviously confused and mixed up. Who would ever call I-15, 'the 15'! Well, I won't make her (or him) feel bad...I'll just tell her (or him) how to get to I-15 and maybe someday she'll (or he'll) catch on." After which you'll get your directions.

But for the dear souls hoping to perhaps bridge this syntactic Utah-California gap, "the I-15" is apparently just as painful to hear as "the 15." Feel free to steer clear of both--just call it "I-15" and you'll be fine.